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Post by Prakash Kumar on Feb 10, 2014 13:41:36 GMT 5.5
Step in or Step out.....Are we ready for that step or Are we taking right step. Lets find out.....
All Kakching parents think so many times for their children educations, and yes its good also. They discuss with relative, friends and follow the success stories person too. But is this the right step for your children education or actually Career aspirations.
I ask so many children what they like to play "Football" why! "I like". I given them cricket bat and ball, they like and thanks to me for such gift. Next time I given them remote helicopter to play, they were very enthusiastic and eager to play with that.
In Twenty years time they aim to be a Engineer/Doctor/Professor.... I know that's ambitious and to get there they will need to deliver outstanding results......That's its their STEP IN.....but are they ready with current conditions, what they have to do to get that education for their children.
Now all STEP IN will come in that pictures....tuition / Reference Books / Laptop / Internet / Air Ticket / Monthly expense / Mobile / Bike / Dresses / Party...and so on.
But which one is required, parents least bother about that. or they kept in dark or just like that.
If you do not have a clear plan for your children career they may take this as a grant.
I have seen so many parents they had given their bank debit card to their children. Why?...so many unacceptable reason.
I have seen children came from Kakching buying sleeper costing Rs.1200/- T-shirt Rs.500/- designer eye spectacles Rs.5000/- Mobile hand set Rs.10000/- Laptop RS.35000/-...and so on.
They don't like hostel, they want rented room(privacy).
Now Question to all Kakching parents by giving all this stuff, is it the right step?
When you can STEP IN for their better future then why not STEP OUT.
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Post by Thoithoi O'Cottage on Feb 14, 2014 9:05:05 GMT 5.5
Being quite too young to have personally experienced a considerably long period of parenthood (not to say a full one in which you now see you have done fairly everything you can for your children) so far, I think raising children is not just supplying them with what their body (=biological system) needs for a biological growth. Growing up is the result of a natural process of the living organism, be it the cat, the dog, or the rat, a plant or a human. You give your dog food everyday, and its body takes care of its physical growth. Thus, raising children cannot happen in the same way--you providing them with food, clothes and money, etc. for their human physical needs, and saying that you are doing everything for them. Even a dog or a cat would grow up if you provide for them in this way. That's purely physical.
When raising parents should not always play the police or detectives; they teach their children to take care of themselves. You cannot be with them every second of their life to look after or check on them. A person can do a lot in a couple of seconds or minutes, when you do not see them. If parents teach their children to take care of themselves, the children over a period of time will psychologically interpret it to be their own duty to regulate themselves. In this condition, they children themselves have eyes on themselves, and they don't have any place or time to hide themselves from themselves to engage in bad practices, (unlike what is the case with children whose parents are strict while themselves are mad or nearly mad and ready to break the prison), and even if such children humanly slide off the track, they will come back to their own selves. For such children, you don't have always to be worried about them, wherever they are--near or far.
Once a quite talented Manipur University student from Kakching rented a room in Kakwa. He had been away from home for quite some time, and before that he had had quite a comparatively freer lifestyle during his early boyhood. I think his parents did not much beyond providing for food and clothes. This student and their parents don't talk often.
While in the boys hostel of the D.M. College of Arts earlier, he had developed a trait--he used marijuana and alcohol, among others, quite regularly. He was quite addicted to these, so even when he wondered and thought about his life and his family once in a while, and when he found restless in it, he took recourse to these intoxicants. During his "fits of normality", particularly when I met him in his rented room, he would say sadly:
It was in the late 1990s, and now this man's parents have stopped smiling. This man was kept his bad behavior from his parents, but he saw how he lived. He could not look after himself. Therefore, though he wanted to bring something home, to make his parents happy and proud, to see at least a weak smile on their face, he could not do anything to that effect. Rather, police followed him, and he was dragged out of his wintry bed at night, quite a couple of times. His life is still a drama. He knows he was provided well, but he always felt something missing. This missing something makes us different from other animals. Parents and children should know what makes them different from other animals. |
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Post by Dr. Lalit Pukhrambam on Feb 15, 2014 8:35:58 GMT 5.5
If a society has to be evolved from a primitive village or a town to the modern town or city, it has to be highly structured and follow specific rules and regulations. Haphazard development, with all the new gadgets, leads to kid's and teen's misuse of technology, instant access to international sites and MTV- like influences (which necessarily are not applicable to a small towns or villages), drug and alochol addictions, etc., leading to spending more time on these habits than studies, and neglecting housewhole chores. In a small compact village/town like Kakching where everyone knows everyone, not only parents and relatives but also all neighbors and the whole village will share taking care of children and youth in the village town.
This village custom or norm of collective effort will disappear as the society becomes complex and multitasking when material needs increase. Each person will have to work harder and spend longer time away for kids to collect these modern amenities - the cell phone, the car, the washer drier, kitchen gas, pay for drinking water, electricity, kids (higher) education, healthcare, and so many other essential items including food, cloth and home (no longer traditional simple cheap homes are applicable). On top of these, as the population increases there are more neighborhood ceremonies such as birth, nahutpa, luhongba, death, and others. When one is invited to each and every one of these ceremonies, it is expected to give money (pot-yenba though the name does not signify money). These sums add up if the ceremonies occur 3-4 times a week. In addition, one has to contribute to leikai clubs and association and functions. All these further add up, but our job opportunities limited and earning capacities are low to supply all these new demands.
Another changing scenerio is: since we live so closely and meet one another so often, we develop mutual understanding (ingita khangba) though feelings and expressions that we do not have to tell each other what we want or want to say. It is assumed that the other should know even without expressing verbally. So, at the end, when time is the factor, misunderstandings are created between individuals, say father and son, husband and wife, and among friends. This is acceptable only when you are confined to small space or leikai life long but not in distance. Thus, the situation is changing every day at Kakching or Manipur towns that we need to develop communication skills. Our model of communication is obsolete, and non-practical at this new age. Parents need to be taught how to communicate openly with their own children on important issues such as education, family finances, drugs, alcohols, friends, bulling, business, agriculture, or whatever the family is involved with. This process itself takes time - an evolutionary process of family affairs education.
Drug addicts are there in advanced countries also. But their government spends crores of rupees to rehabilitate or treat these addictions and most importantly provide education to prevent in the first instance to parents and students. Such an educational system is provided in schools (after school program) for students in local schools, or in libraries and clubs for parents regularly. The number of drug addicts and school drop outs are therefore much less in advanced countries. They produce the technology, which are called double-edge swords, good if using correctly and harmful if misused or inappropriately.
So, this new situation means that Kakching schools and Clubs have to begin incorporating preventive drug and alcohol addition programs for students and Parents. New communication skills have to taught at large to the community. By closing eyes and thinking that it will not happen to my child will not work, and that is not the way a town has to evolve. The lesion that just go to bed/sleep early and the next morning everything will calm down idea does not work in parenting and long-term character development of a child and the society at large.
We have to learn and incorporate so many social skills in our society to catch up with the rest of the world. Our society is no more composed of an innocent environment protected from the outside world. We are exposed all alien viruses and bacteria that our immune system had not encountered any time before, so we need to find out the new viruses and means to immunize them before they cause irreversible damages to our sweet town called Kakching and other towns in Manipur.
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